Planning your Romantic Wedding: Choosing groomsmen
Choosing the Groomsmen for Your Wedding.
This should be the groom’s decision! You may have always envisioned your older brother standing alongside your future husband, but if your fiancé already has a gaggle of close-knit friends who he wants in the bridal party then you shouldn’t force the issue. You should certainly feel free to bring up the suggestion; you never know your fiance might decide that it is one of the most brilliant suggestions he has ever heard.
If he’s just not close to your brother and doesn’t feel comfortable having him play such a vital role on the groom’s side then you should simply respect your fiancé’s wishes. You will quickly find that marriage is all about compromise, and even if you feel as though this is your big day and everything should go as you want it to you need to think about how you would feel if your fiancé insisted upon you having a woman who you hardly know stand alongside your best friends in the coveted position of bridesmaid.
Besides, there are plenty of other special jobs you might find for your brother or another special male in your life to do. Some women have more than one person walk them down the aisle, and there is no reason why your father cannot stand on one side of you while your brother stands on the other.
The groom gets a bachelor stag party too, of course.
You have undoubtedly heard countless stories about the notorious goings-on at bachelor parties, but the truth of the matter is that often times a bachelor party merely serves as a chance for a man to spend one last night hanging out with his buddies before officially being part of a married couple.
This sort of wedding ritual is pivotal for men in virtually all cultures throughout the world and you should not consider putting your foot down and refusing to allow your fiancé to have a bachelor party. First of all, if the issue is that you do not trust what might happen at the bachelor party, such as a stripper showing up or the guys all getting ridiculously drunk and rowdy, then you should examine why you are planning on marrying a man who you do not trust completely.
If the issue is more that you feel left out and want to be with your fiancé twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, then perhaps you need to examine why it is that you feel so insecure with yourself that you cannot allow your fiancé time away from you.
The case for the bachelor party is a good one, as long as the party does not get out of control and none of the attendees wind up in jail as a result.
You do have the right, however, to request that the bachelor party does not take place the night before the wedding. You don’t want your groom-to-be and his entire wedding party to be at the ceremony bleary-eyed and nauseous. There should at least be a two or three day buffer so the party goers can have some recovery time before the wedding ceremony.
Groomsmen don’t necessarily have to be all men. If your fiancé has a woman in his life who he considers very special, such as a sister or someone equally important in his life, you don’t necessarily have to add her to your bridal party if you aren’t comfortable with the idea. Instead, you may want to consider letting her stand with the groomsmen. It actually looks pretty cute to have a woman groomsman (or “groomsperson” in this case) standing with the men, decked out in an identical or similar tuxedo. You may want to consider something like this if the idea is brought up by your fiancé.
The guys get gifts too. Have your fiancé pick out some gifts for the groomsmen and ushers to thank them for taking part in the wedding. Some popular options for groomsmen gifts include engraved flasks, etched mugs, and personalized money clips.
Although you can offer your opinion on the gifts which are to be given, you should really have your fiancé make the final choice since these are his friends and he knows what they will like. You may find it appalling to give engraved flasks because you envision all the groomsmen stocking the flasks up with bourbon before the ceremony, but your fiancé may know that the groomsmen would never do that, and that they will all enjoy the gift responsibly.
One great value alternative which is still not too common is to make them a real Lord or Laird (a traditional title given to people owning parts of Scotland). They really get to own a plot of land in Scotland but also get their title certificate along with a 50 page book outlining the history and culture of the land they will own. By the way this also makes a great gift to give your groom recognizing him as Lord of your heart even better get the twin pack to become Lord and Lady together.
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Planning a Romantic Wedding
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