Victorian Wedding Themes and Etiquette
Wedding Etiquette for those looking for Victorian Wedding Themes
In the 1870’s to 1880’s there were at more than sixty (60) etiquette books published on wedding etiquette. many of these Victorian wedding etiquettes traditions still live on in today’s society so can be replicated quite easily into a Victorian wedding theme.
Victorian wedding etiquette focused on on well defined rules about what was correct manners, culture and dress before, during and after the wedding ceremony and reception. These etiquette rules on courtship and engagement you only need to read many of the classic novels still in print today to realise the differences but also the similarities we see in our current everyday life.
Victorian Wedding Etiquette on the Marriage Ceremony.
The marriage ceremony varied considerably with the wealth, desires and wishes of the wedding parties. Victorian wedding bride and couple could have a huge expensive wedding if they can afford it or they could have a small gathering with only the closest family and friends celebrating the wedding.
As to the wording and order of the actual wedding rite, Victorians had no specific directions as to how the wedding rite should be done, but instead followed the rules of the church. Victorians before being married by their ministers, were required by wedding etiquette to study the order or proper wedding rite of their particular church. For example Victorians about to be married in a Methodist church would study their Book of Discipline. Episcopalian (or Anglican) Victorians, on the other hand would have to read the Book of Common Prayer. Catholic Victorians are invoked to know the basic Ritual in a Catholic Wedding Celebration.
Victorian wedding etiquette also required couples to have private wedding rehearsals in order to ensure the bride and groom and the wedding parties understood the necessary formal rites and would often be tested on it by their minister prior to the wedding.
Victorian Wedding Etiquette Rules On Choosing Bridesmaids and Groomsmen
Victorians have general rules in wedding etiquette. They are interesting to learn and to note especially if you are planning to have a Victorian wedding theme. For example the bridesmaids and groomsmen were expected to assist in the preparation of the wedding and even during the wedding especially if the wedding is not private. Wealthy Victorians held weddings for public and with many guests that were expected to attend (even from nearby towns), the hired help won’t be able to accommodate the guests.
Victorian wedding etiquette is clear on this matter: bridesmaids should be younger, yes you read it right, younger than the bride. If you have an older sister who you love you dearly, you would not have been able to make her a bridesmaid. All bridesmaids were required to wear dresses that looked exactly like that of the bride. It was believed before (even before the time of the Victorians) that a devil is on the loose every time there is a wedding. This devil is tasked to kidnap the bride, take her away from her groom, and take her virginity from her. So, bridesmaids are selected, those that look like the bride, younger or of her age, and must dress the way she dresses so as to confuse the devil who should be taken.
The material for bridesmaids wedding dresses are usually light and flowing fabric that allows graceful gait, and must have lots of ornament. Dresses should not be necessarily expensive.
The bridesmaids should assist the bride (thus the name brides’ MAID) in dressing her, receiving company, holding her things, etc. They should stand at the brides left side, with the first bridesmaid or the maid of honor holding the gloves and bouquet.
As for the groomsmen or best man he should receive the clergyman and present to him the couple to be married. The first groomsman or the best man should stand upon the right side of the groom during the ceremony.
Victorian wedding etiquette has not been changed much. They are still the basic wedding etiquette that we have today. We can follow Victorian wedding etiquette’s general rule as is without looking or making ourselves outrageous. Some of Victorian wedding etiquette rules are just bent a bit, such as a wedding dress, to accommodate the wishes and desires of the bride or the groom.
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