Having said that, you may find yourself in the position where your mother or mother-in-law drives you a little nuts with their opinions.  As long as the annoying behavior does not become obtrusive or worthy of you breaking into tears of frustration then you might just need to smile, nod, and accept the fact that your wedding means almost as much to them as it does to you.  Who knows? One of them might actually have some pretty sage advice for you.  If, on the other hand, you get to the point where you simply cannot handle the intrusive behavior any longer then have a heart-to-heart talk with your mom, or instead have your fiancé conduct a discussion with his mom.  This is your wedding day, after all, and not theirs. 

“I wore this on my wedding day.”  All the wedding planning is chugging along beautifully when all of a sudden your mom pulls a faded and frayed shawl out of her hope chest and proclaims it a family heirloom, passed down for generations to the women of the family to wear on their wedding day. 

Unless the history of the shawl touches you and you wholeheartedly agree that you should incorporate it into your wedding ensemble then you will need to tread carefully into this particular territory.  Undoubtedly your mother does not want to see the tradition ended with you, and she may not be able to see the shawl as you do.  To her, it is a beautiful testament to the females in the family, but to you it’s a torn shawl, which will essentially ruin the look you are going for. 

If you find yourself in this situation then you should first try to figure out a way to work the shawl into your wedding day.  Maybe your mom would find it acceptable if you wore it for a part of the reception, or instead maybe the two of you can agree on you taking some of your portraits with the shawl wrapped around you. 

You shouldn’t be forced into wearing something, which you find utterly atrocious, but you also should make every sensible effort to carry the tradition on.  You may find yourself years from now pulling the very same shawl out of a chest and showing it to your daughter as she readies for her wedding day.

Do you usually clash?  If you find that you and your mother or mother-in-law usually are at ends with things you will probably find that when you are planning your wedding the arguments increase ten-fold. 

If you have always pondered putting your foot down and decide that this may be the time to do so just realize that any major rifts you cause right now might result in some real tension at the wedding and the reception.  Depending upon your relationship with your mother or mother in law you may cause a rift big enough to merit their absence from your wedding day entirely.  You should try to accommodate your close relatives as much as you can without infringing upon you and your fiancé’s personal visions of the perfect wedding.  

Don’t be a pushover.  Speaking of accommodating other people’s desires, you need to make sure that you don’t allow your mother or (especially) your mother in law to push you around.  This can be especially tough if you don’t know your mother in law too well and your first exposure to her is with her coming to you with a list of demands for the wedding.  You want to make a good impression on her, of course, but you feel as though you are getting taken advantage of. 

This is the time to have a chat with your fiancé about his mother and see if he stands up for you.  To be honest, you will be able to get a quick glimpse into your future life as husband and wife with this situation when you see if he sticks up for you or instead sides with his mother. 

Be wary if he automatically defends his mother in every single situation and also scolds you for even bringing the situation to his attention.  As long as you are not being overly sensitive and are not making outrageous demands then you should seriously wonder if you should be marrying a man who has yet to cut the metaphoric apron springs. 

As you have undoubtedly realized by now, there is so much more to planning a wedding ceremony and reception than the mere financial aspects.  There are so many people who are emotionally involved in the planning, so you and your fiancé need to take care to make sure that your needs and desires are considered along with those of the people you care about.

Use your family and friends if you can. But be aware that with a number of people being involved there will be more opportunities for things to go amiss. Someone forgets to do something that they promised or they do it wrongly.  Get round that danger by using the amazing wedding guide advertised on this page and use it as a checklist with the best wedding planning software I have ever used being offered free.