The love of your life drops to one knee and proudly presents you a box.  Your heart skips a beat as he opens the box and places the ring on your finger.  You are overjoyed by the proposal, but surprise yourself by being under whelmed by the ring. 

Unless you are the kind of woman who demands a huge diamond then you may be taken aback by how strongly you can feel about the ring.  If you don’t fall instantly in love with the sight of the ring your mind may start racing while you try to sort through your feelings.  “Am I really so shallow that this matters so much to me?” “Will I hurt his feelings if I tell him I don’t like the ring?” “Does he really think this is something I would like? He doesn’t know me at all!”

First of all, give yourself a little break.  Suddenly going from girlfriend to fiancée can be overwhelming, even if you were expecting it. 

You may have built up a perfect image of what the moment would be like and felt a sudden let-down when the ring wasn’t exactly as you had imagined it would be.  Or maybe the ring is indeed hideous. 

The best thing to do in this situation is to put your problems with the ring on the backburner for now until you can take a moment to really sort out your feelings about the ring.  You might ask your fiancé to tell you about how he made the decision to purchase this particular ring.

If he responds with an endearing story about how he painstakingly searched every jewelry store in town until he found the ring, which really spoke to him, then this is not the opportune time to declare your distaste for the ring. 

If, on the other hand, he just arbitrarily snatched up the first ring that looked sparkly he might be open to the idea of exchanging it.  No, it isn’t entirely shallow to want a different ring. 

On the other hand, if your fiancé has presented you with a ring which he put a lot of time and thought into, or one that he could barely afford to begin with, or if he bought it at a store without a return policy then you should really think twice about asking for a different one.  If you do decide to talk to your fiancé about it, just be sure to be tactful. 

After all, it’s more common than you think for women to accidentally leave their ring sitting on a sink in a public restroom or to take it off at the gym and have someone break into the locker to steal it. 

Since you never really know what might happen you should go ahead and get some insurance for the ring.  The jeweler will probably offer some sort of replacement insurance for the diamond and that’s a good idea, although you should know that often times the jeweler requires that you bring the ring in monthly for an inspection otherwise the insurance policy is voided. 

You should also consider getting additional insurance through whichever company provides your renters or homeowners insurance.  The extra premium on the policy should be relatively inexpensive, but having the additional insurance rider will give you peace of mind. 

Many women love having a big, shiny ring but are too terrified to wear it on a regular basis for fear of losing it or having it stolen.  An insurance policy can make nervous women a little more relaxed about wearing the ring they love so much.

You should never feel any “less engaged” than other women simply because they have a big diamond on their finger and you don’t. 

This is a good lesson to learn right now before you get too far into the planning process for your wedding: do things as you want them done, not as you think other people expect them to be done.