Okay you have decided the relationship can’t work! It has to end but how?

Not the best news at any time but how do you break up a relationship which you may have been in for a long time.

How do you prepare yourself for the next stage? What happens after the breakup where do you go from there?

Don’t drag it out!  When it is over, it’s over.  You’re not doing your partner any favors by delaying the inevitable when you have decided that you definitely want to break up.  Be firm, decisive, and honest.  It’s kinder to be honest. You can be tactful, but it will help your partner to understand why you want to break up.

Don’t overlap relationships. Don’t move in a new partner before breaking up with your current partner. This isn’t good for you, and it’s not honest to your current partner.

Let’s be friends? Don’t expect to be friends after a break up. It depends upon whether you were friends before you became romantically involved.   You don’t always have to like the people you fall in love with.

Give your partner closure. You took the time to be with this person during your relationship, so try to sit down and give your partner time to talk when you’re breaking up.

If your partner is the one breaking up with you, ask the questions you need to, to bring closure for yourself.  

Don’t do it in a public place.  Even if you don’t like to confront emotional situations like breaking up, don’t break up in public to avoid a scene. Your partner will feel cheated.

If you just can’t say the words… Write a letter explaining why you want to break up. But deliver it in person, and be there to talk with them after they read it.

Don’t try to hold on. If your partner wants to end the relationship, don’t manipulate your partner into staying. Like the old saying, "If you love something, let it go… "

Don’t pick a fight. You don’t have to have a fight in order for both of you to accept that your relationship is over. The more positive and open you can be during the break-up, the healthier you will be when you are recovering from it.

Remember why you loved your partner in the first place. If you can, try to leave the relationship remembering the good times.

Alanna Webb is a writer, web developer, and lifelong diehard romantic. Her websites, including LoveStories, have received major media attention. Her passions include her two Shih Tzus, movies, and reading. She may be reached by email.

Breaking up is always difficult but one major step to getting over it is to move on and fast. Make your next relationship more permanent and avoid mistakes in choosing the wrong person. http://BeRomantic.com/startingafresh