Prepare for Marriage

How many marriages are rushed into without the couple really knowing everything about each other?

How many times do couples only find out after marriage they have deep moral, ethical or spiritual differences?  Do you really know the person you are are dating or maybe even engaged to?

Maybe if people were exploring each others standards and beliefs instead of only their bodies there would be a reduction in the number of marriages breaking up. Just thing what that would mean.

• Less heartbreaking pain,

• Less children being raised in single parent relationships,

• Less money spent on divorce lawyers,

• less misunderstandings of what people mean

• and so on!

But how do we get to know the other person before entering into the marriage?  Study after study has shown that even living together before marriage does not reduce the chance of divorce and in some cases increases the chances of break-up.

1,000 Questions for Couples.

Talking together asking questions of what the other person believes can identify doubts in your mind early on can save the pain later. Michael has developed a list of 1,000 questions for couples on a whole range of subjects. Each one of those 1,000  questions for couples will help start a discussion about a vital topic which could if not identified and dealt with early in a relationship will create arguments and potential heartache and pain later.

I am NOT saying that if you disagree on a subject the relationship should break up straight away as this will depend on how strong those feeling are to each others.  Some of them will perhaps be so serious a difference in views that the relationship will not work in the longer term. Others may be relatively minor in nature and can be worked around but identifying it will enable you and your partner to work it out before the unforgivable argument starts.

I actually went through all these questions with my partner before our marriage and was pleasantly surprised to find so few differences in our standards and  beliefs I now KNOW we can work things through if issues come up later.

Find out if you and and your partner are in that same situation now by reading more about 1000 Questions for Couples here

Men Made Easy and Make a Woman Happy

Another approach to preparing for marriage or long term relationship is to really understand how your partner see things from THEIR gender point of view. 

Guys lets be honest with other how many of us have ever sat down to take the time to study how women think.

"Why does he not understand me? Why is that my friends all seem to understand what I say and agree with me when we meet for for a ladies get-together on Thursday lunchtime. Yet he does not!"

There have been books around for years such as men are from one planet and women from another but they only set out explanations for why and still don't get to grips with explaining how to overcome the issue . And to honest in my view pretending the planet origin exist only serves to give excuses not providing us with rockets to go and discover for ourselves how to adapt our words and actions so we can see what the other person is saying and doing and they can see us in a new light.

Kara has overcome this problem by writing in simple English about how the two genders think differently but has also gone to the next stage and shown how we can use the gender differences in a positive way not a negative way. told in story format it is easy to follow and drives the message home so easily everything just seems to make sense with no real thought even required.

Feedback I got from my newsletter readers was fantastic and so many women wrote in saying now I know what my boyfriend is looking for I am able to ensure he understands my love is real in a special way which he never understood before.  Oh and by the way I seem to get my own way a lot more because i know how to phrase things so he readily agrees to my suggestions.

I first read her Men Made Easy book about two years ago and its very easy flow style of telling a story seemed so natural I wished immediately that there was an equivalent book written for men. But there was nothing comparable.

However in the last few weeks she has produced a book which I believe matches the standard of that first book.  In many ways I think it even surpasses it but then I am a man and lets face it this Women Made Easy book was written for men.   The book is not about "easy women" but about understanding what the female partner is looking for in a loving relationship.

To be totally honest with you because it is such a new book I have not yet had two years of readers feedback on it as yet as I have with the others but I do believe it is going to be as successful in helping relationships weld together.

Which approach to preparing for a relationship would I choose to recommend to you?

Well that depends on what stage you are at in your relationship? If you have spoken at length and KNOW you share the same ethical and moral viewpoints on all the more important issues in life I would still recommend the 1000 questions book if only so you have something to talk about when you are together or even separated and able to talk on the phone or by email/instant messenger.

While the 1000 questions for couples book is for couples to share together you can be reading the Men Made Easy and Women Made Easy books whilst you are on your own and then put the new ideas into practice when you come together. 

The simple solution would be for me to say buy both but if this is not possible then the choice is yours.   Which is most important to you at this stage of your relationship?

Ron Thomson   Romantic Ideas product reviewer and romantic relationship coach

Ron has written for a number of years on romance and romantic ideas during that time the has reviewed a large number of books on the topic of romantic relationships. If you would like to recommend a particular book for review on these pages please write to him by going to RonsHelpDesk.co.uk