Romantic Relationship jokes — Laugh With Us 

All of us like to laugh from time to time. Here we offer a growing collection of humorous romantic relationship jokes. Use these jokes to create laughter through humour in your relationship.

What a Woman Wants in a Man

What I Want In A Man, Original List ... (at age 22)
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1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover
 

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 32)
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1. Nice Looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all the groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers Birthdays and Anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week
 

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 42)
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1. Not too ugly - bald head OK
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves most weekends
 

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 52)
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1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm emoting
5. Doesn't re-tell same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on Weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV Dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends
 

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 62)
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1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Doesn't forget why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes (thankfully!)
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...
 

What I Want In A Man, Revised List ... (at age 72)
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1. Breathing

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More Beautiful Every Day

Amy and Jamie are old friends. They have both been married to their husbands for a long time; Amy is upset because she thinks her husband doesn't find her attractive anymore.

"As I get older he doesn't bother to look at me!" Amy cries.

"I'm so sorry for you, as I get older my husband says I get more beautiful every day." replies Jamie.

"Yes, but your husband is an antique dealer!"

Readers — if you are still single maybe you need to add antique lover to your shopping list when looking for a long term partner.

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Doing The Speed Limit

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH.  He thinks to himself 'this driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!'

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies — two in the front seat and three in the back —wide eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit!   What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly...Twenty two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask......Is everyone in this car ok? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time" the officer asks.

"Oh, they'll be alright in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

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