Romantic Relationship jokes — Laugh With Us 

A collection of some of the best jokes on relationships available

The Absent-Minded Husband

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"

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Capital Punishment

Mrs. Crumps was called to serve for jury duty, but asked to be excused because she didn't believe in capital punishment and didn't want her personal thoughts to prevent the trial from running its proper course.

But the public defender liked her thoughtfulness and quiet calm, and tried to convince her that she was appropriate to serve on the jury.

"Madam," he explained, "This is not a murder trial! It's a simple civil lawsuit.   A wife is bringing this case against her husband because he gambled away the $12,000 he had promised to use to remodel the kitchen for her birthday."

"Well, okay," agreed Mrs. Crumps, "I'll serve. I guess I could be wrong about capital punishment after all."

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The Assertive Husband

A husband is advised by a psychiatrist to assert himself. "You don't have to let your wife henpeck you. Go home and show her you're the boss."

The husband takes the doctor's advice.

He rushes home, slams the door, shakes his fist in his wife's face, and growls, "From now on, you're taking orders from me. I want my supper right now, and when you get it on the table, go upstairs, and lay out my best clothes.

Tonight, I'm going out with the boys, and you are going to stay at home where you belong.  And another thing, guess who's going to comb my hair, give me a shave, and tie my necktie?"

His wife says calmly, " The undertaker?"

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Husband Shoppng Center

A Husband Shopping Center has opened in Atlanta where a woman can go to choose from among many men to be her husband.

It is laid out in five floors with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascend. However, there is a catch.  You're only allowed in once.  Once you open the door to any floor you must choose a man from that floor.

If you go up a floor you can't go back down except to exit the building.  So, a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door says: Floor 1: These men have jobs and love kids. The woman reads the sign. "Well, that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes.

The second floor sign says: Floor 2: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good-looking.  "Hmmm, better," says the woman. "But I wonder what's further up?"

The third floor sign reads: Floor 3: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, and help with the housework. "Wow," says the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there's more further up!"

And so again, she goes up.

On the fourth floor the sign reads: Floor 4: These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak "Oh, mercy me." (That's how women talk in Georgia) "But just think, that must be awaiting me further up?" So up to the fifth floor she goes.

The sign on that door says: Floor 5: This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping.

Have a nice day!

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